If he comes again tomorrow, I will call him Two Socks.

(Krusty the Clown voice) HEY HEYYYY!! . . I don't hate the world anymore--for anyone who read my last post. Someone went and changed Bangladesh back to normal over the past couple of days. Thanks, whoever you are.

And now, anecdotes to lighten your heart:

"I hate this class because Mr. Adam is so ugly to look at and he is not so very smart." Actual words from a student. Maybe not such a bright idea for an exercise on my part. See, in order to stimulate creativity in generating practice sentences, I told them to start with the phrase, "I hate this class because . . . " explaining that I wanted off-the-wall answers, like "because there are flamingoes flying out of my fanny." Most of them chose to say mean stuff about me, which I think means they actually think the opposite. I think.

"Army Knife? What is Army Knife?" (I had lost my faux army knife and was trying to find a new one in Khulna--futile errand . . After further explanation:) "Ohhhh! You mean MacGyver knife!"

(I am explaining the meaning of the interjection, 'Shoot!' After the penny finally drops, approximately 15 of the 25 students caucaphonally speak up to help me out:) "Ohhhh! You mean SHIT!" I don't think they get it. But hey, at least it afforded me my first chance to whip out the ol' cat-o-nine-tails. Ah, blood.

***

I now have a maidservant. But it's cool because it actually does provide real employment for someone, doesn't cost that much, and means I don't have to turn the underwear inside out anymore. And then back inside in again. And then go without. And then do my own laundry. I mean, who can be bothered for that crap? She also makes me delicious food and sweeps the floor. People call her Milonerma, which means Milon's mother. She has a son named Milon. Apparently lower-status women around here are identified by the fruits of their womb rather than by their actual names. I call her Nilun-Apa which means sister-Nilun. Usually she laughs at me when I call her that. I don't think she gets it.

But seriously, I kinda like that about this culture. They call each other brother-Shamim or sister-Tanbi or brother-Mahmud. I'm still Mr. Adam to most people, but I'm working on that. A few people have moved to calling me "Smit" which is to them more familiar, but only on a few occasions have I been called Adam-Bhai (brother-Adam).

***

From the newspaper today I have learned that 22 people have been sentenced to die by hanging in a particular town because of their involvement in the bomb blasts in August of last year. Here's the thing: In all of these particular blasts, NO ONE DIED. In fact, all 22 are being hanged for being involved in one bomb which injured an 8-year-old boy and did nothing else but scatter Islamist propoganda leaflets. Yeesh, man. We wanted you to crack down on these dudes, but . . .